Homesick is Sexy

11.27.99
12.04.03

Smoking a cigarette, listening to two young
men talk I suddenly experienced a strange
and intense need, as though I badly
needed to piss, but what I really needed
was sex. Sudden desperate intense
fucking. Were I a man I would have
had a raging hard on. Peculiar and
without warning. Randomnymity. Cold. I
was born in Maine on an unseasonably
cold day and have never since
managed to quite warm up. The
first thing my mother took me to
see was the Atlantic Ocean. I
have wanted ever since to go back.
Pre-determinism infantile obsession. Cold
cold cold. I should give up, go
home and jack off. Yes.